Couples therapy, also known as marriage or relationship counseling, is a form of therapy that aims to help couples resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their relationship. It provides a safe and neutral space for couples to explore their issues, understand each other’s perspectives, and work towards finding solutions. Feeling angry and frustrated with your partner is a common issue in many relationships, and couples therapy can be a valuable resource in addressing these challenges. This blog will explore how EFT Couples Therapy can help with feeling angry and frustrated with your partner.

Understanding Anger and Frustration

Anger and frustration are normal emotions that can arise in any relationship. However, when these emotions become persistent and unresolved, they can significantly impact the dynamics between partners and the overall well-being of the relationship.

It is essential to recognize that anger and frustration often stem from underlying issues such as unmet needs, unexpressed emotions, or unresolved conflicts. Couples therapy provides a platform to delve deeper into these emotions, identify their root causes, and develop healthier ways of dealing with them.

How Can Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Help When I am Angry and Frustrated with my Partner?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a popular and effective approach used in couples therapy that focuses on emotions and attachment in relationships. EFT can be particularly beneficial in addressing anger and frustration within a partnership.

Here’s how EFT couples therapy can help with these emotions:

Recognizing and validating emotions: As an EFT therapist, Deborah will prioritize the recognition and validation of emotions in both partners. Anger and frustration are seen as valid emotional responses to unmet needs or unaddressed issues. By acknowledging and validating these emotions, couples can begin to explore the underlying causes and work towards resolution.

Understanding attachment dynamics: EFT therapists emphasize the significance of attachment bonds in relationships. Anger and frustration can often arise from attachment insecurities or unfulfilled attachment needs. EFT helps couples understand how their attachment styles may contribute to these emotions and guides them in creating a secure emotional connection.

Identifying underlying fears and needs: Anger and frustration are often masking deeper fears and unmet needs. EFT therapists assist couples in identifying the underlying fears and needs that fuel these emotions. By uncovering these core issues, couples can better understand themselves and each other, fostering empathy and compassion.

Enhancing communication patterns: EFT focuses on improving communication patterns to foster connection and understanding between partners. Therapists help couples develop skills such as active listening, expressing needs and emotions effectively, and reframing negative interactions. These communication tools enable couples to express their anger and frustration in healthier ways, leading to increased understanding and empathy.

Restructuring negative cycles: EFT aims to break negative cycles of interaction that perpetuate anger and frustration. Therapists help couples identify the specific patterns of interaction that escalate these emotions and guide them towards creating new, positive cycles of communication and connection. By interrupting these negative cycles, couples can reduce anger and frustration and build more positive interactions.

Repairing and rebuilding trust: Anger and frustration can erode trust in a relationship. EFT provides a framework for repairing and rebuilding trust by fostering emotional safety and vulnerability. Through guided exercises and interventions, couples can gradually rebuild trust and deepen their emotional connection, reducing anger and frustration in the process.

Promoting emotional regulation: EFT therapists assist couples in developing strategies for emotional regulation. By helping partners understand their individual emotional triggers and teaching them effective coping mechanisms, couples can manage their anger and frustration more constructively. Emotional regulation skills contribute to a more calm and constructive interaction between partners.

Overall, EFT couples therapy can help couples address anger and frustration by exploring the underlying emotions, improving communication, understanding attachment dynamics, and fostering emotional connection and security. By working collaboratively with a skilled EFT therapist, couples can navigate these challenging emotions and build a healthier, more satisfying relationship.

The Role of Commitment and Patience

Couples therapy requires a commitment from both partners to actively participate in the process and implement the strategies discussed in therapy sessions. It is essential to approach therapy with patience and realistic expectations, as healing and growth take time. Changes may not happen overnight, but with consistent effort and the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can experience positive transformations and overcome their anger and frustration.

If you’re interested in beginning to take a closer look at how anger and frustration show up in the negative cycle between. you and your partner, consider exploring this resource

You might also enjoy learning more for EFT trainer George Faller on the negative cycle and the impact on couple relationships.

What if my Partner Isn’t Interested in Therapy to Address Anger and Frustration in our Relationship?

If your partner isn’t interested in attending couples therapy right now, you can still learn to calm yourself. Individual therapy can help you develop new skills and strategies to control your emotions and response when your expectations aren’t met. This means you need to take out time to settle and soothe yourself before talking to your partner about it.


Feeling angry and frustrated with your partner can be a distressing experience, but it doesn’t have to define your relationship. Couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity to address these emotions, understand their underlying causes, and develop healthier ways of relating to each other. Through effective communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and a commitment to growth, couples can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

If your partner isn’t interested in couples therapy at this time, individual therapy can help you change how you respond in your relationship. Remember, seeking professional help is a sign of strength and a proactive step towards building a stronger bond with your partner.

If you’re ready to address the anger and frustration in your relationship and work towards a more fulfilling partnership, reach out to Deborah at Bedford Couple and Family Therapy. Deborah is a skilled therapist who specializes in couples therapy, including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

To book an appointment, call (902) 800-4627 or visit our online booking site at

Take the first step towards healing, understanding, and rebuilding your relationship. Deborah is here to support you on this journey of growth and transformation. Don’t wait any longer—reach out today and invest in the future of your relationship.