Remember When Kids Could Just Be Kids?
These days it seems challenging to help kids find balance betwen school and extracurricular activities. There was a time when young kids had a simple routine: they went to school, came home, did a little homework, and then ran outside to play with their friends until dinner time. Their days were open, filled with unstructured play, and easy for them to handle.
Fast forward to today, and things look a bit different and it is much harder to help kids find balance between school and extracurriculars. Many kids are juggling so many activities that they barely have time to play in the backyard anymore. Between school, team sports, music lessons, and other activities, their schedules can feel like a whirlwind. These packed schedules can lead to kids feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and even having trouble sleeping.
Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, a child psychiatrist and author of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, highlights this growing issue. He believes that enrolling children in too many activities has become a nationwide concern. “Overscheduling our children is not only a widespread phenomenon, it’s how we parent today,” he says. “Parents feel remiss that they’re not being good parents if their kids aren’t in all kinds of activities. Children are under pressure to achieve, to be competitive.”
It’s likely that since Rosenfeld’s work was published this problem has only become worse. More recent studies indicate that “students are assigned so much homework and signed up for so many extracurricular activities that… the activities were actually harming their mental well-being, making students more anxious, depressed or angry (Barshay, Jill, Feb 2005). In the 10 years prior to the pandemic, feelings of persistent sadness and hopelessness—as well as suicidal thoughts and behaviours—increased by about 40% among young people, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC). The pandemic is further believed to have worsened the mental health of young people. “Based on their cortical and subcortical features (from brain imaging), the post-shutdown group had older brain ages than adolescents assessed before the pandemic. Their brains showed neuroanatomical features more typical of older people or those who experienced chronic stress or adversity in childhood. Thus, this study shows an association between the COVID-19 pandemic and impaired mental health and maladaptive brain development among adolescents (National Institute of Health, January, 2023).
Although many parents may feel the need to “make up for lost time” by enrolling their kids in multiple activities that were missed during the pandemic, based on the above findings, finding balance and even embracing unscheduling may be a more prudent option to help kids balance school and extracurricular activities.
Kids Want to Please Their Parents
As parents, we often think we’re doing our kids a favor by signing them up for activities we believe they’ll enjoy and that will build character and confidence. But it’s important to understand that our kids might not want—or be able to handle—so much.
Many of us look back on our own childhoods with some regret, wishing we’d had more opportunities, more experiences. With the best of intentions, we want our kids to have more than we did. But sometimes these good intentions can turn into overwhelming schedules that our kids struggle to keep up with. We mean well, but it’s crucial to recognize when it’s just too much for them to handle.
Finding Balance: How Parents Can Help
So, how can we help our kids strike a balance between schoolwork and extracurricular activities? Here are some tips:
1. Lighten Up
Remember, childhood is supposed to be fun! There will be plenty of time to be serious when they’re adults. Try to put less pressure on your child to achieve something grand, and instead, focus on making happy memories together. Spend more time playing games, going on family outings, or simply enjoying each other’s company without the stress of a packed schedule.
2. Understand the Benefits of Self-Direction
Kids don’t always need a structured activity to grow and learn. Independent work and playtime are incredibly beneficial to their developing minds. Giving your child some alone time allows them to process their experiences, let their imaginations run wild, and simply de-stress. Whether it’s reading a book, building with blocks, or just daydreaming, unstructured time is a gift to their mental well-being.
3. Listen to Your Child
Communication is key. You won’t know if your child is struggling to keep up with their activities unless you talk openly with them about it. Ask them how they feel about their schedule. Are they enjoying all their activities, or do they feel overwhelmed? If it turns out that some activities need to be removed from the schedule, work together to figure out which ones to keep and which to let go. Empowering your child to make these decisions can help them feel more in control and less stressed.
The Importance of Play and Balance
Extracurricular activities like music, arts, and sports play an important role in your child’s development, offering opportunities for learning, growth, and socialization. However, it’s essential to ensure that your child doesn’t become overwhelmed by too many activities. Balance is key. Kids need time to relax, to be creative, and to just be kids.
If you’re concerned that your child might be struggling to manage their stress or feeling overwhelmed by their schedule, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Sometimes, a little guidance from a professional can make a big difference in helping your child navigate their emotions and busy world while still enjoying the simple joys of childhood.
Let’s Work Together to Support Your Child’s Well-Being
If you’re looking for an expert to help your child manage their stress and find a healthy balance, our team is here to help. Lois and Dr. Adam can work with parents and/or teens to help them optimize growth without overwhelming them. Contact Bedford Couple & Family Therapy today at (902) 800-4627 to explore how we can support you in this journey.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200301/the-overbooked-child
https://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/balancing-school-with-extracurricular-activities.aspx
https://childmind.org/article/finding-the-balance-with-after-school-activities/